You know, something post-high school appropriate. Essentially, what is your choice term of endearment? How would you prefer to be introduced by your significant other? How would you introduce your sig other?
I wear clothes you haven’t seen before
And makeup you probably wouldn’t approve of
I say “probably” because I’m realizing now
I never really knew you
Those longs walks to our place
I now make by myself
Wearing just enough layers
To keep me focused
But cold enough to leave me wishing
For something, someone, warm
Sometimes I like to feel alone
Our old song is on repeat
And I think it’s kind of selfish
Since it probably belongs to another ‘our’
Maybe, probably, most likely
A happier one than us
I dance in a way you never saw
And cut my hair shorter because
You never really liked it short
Don’t lie, I knew you well enough
To know that simple fact
Being alone means making my own choices
So I said I’d give your shirt away
But you’ve pointed out before
How much of a liar I can be
I tore it up, shredded it to pieces
My best friend insulted the necklace
The one you gave after saying
“Don’t freak, I’m not proposing”
I’m too tired to formulate insults
Loneliness, I’m finding, can make you sleepy
People keep quoting science at me
Things like how it takes twice as long
Without someone, to get over the time
Spent with them
I never trusted you enough to say
Math had never been my strong point
But I think that means come Valentine’s
I’ll be back to myself again
This whole “alone” thing gives me time to think
Sometimes I imagine you showing up
At my house the way you’d never done
Except for that time I showed you my world
And you didn’t even act like you’d seen it before
I need someone to see the cracks
Run a hand lightly over the scars
You’re not that, never were or could be
So I guess I’m waiting for February now
Sometimes I like being alone
She fits in where I couldn’t go
Plays the perfect part
In a play I’ll never know
It’s never been my role
She looks like your perfect dream
And yes, oh sweetheart
I know the feeling
I also know the sting
But she’s bright where I’m dark
And sweet where I bleed
So damn giving when I need, need, need
And I understand when you say
She’s your everything
So I’ll light a set of candles
And burn you from my system
Our memories aren’t so bad
Until we start to miss them
So I’ll steal my luck from the stars
They know where on earth you are
Maybe they’ll be mad enough
To burn out my heart
Wouldn’t that be nice?
Your mom likes her more than me
Stop kidding myself
Such a feat is so easy
Kinda like breathing
And she’s bright where I’m dark
And sweet where I bleed
So damn giving when I need, need, need
And I understand when you say
She’s your everything
So I’ll light a set of candles
And burn you from my system
Our memories aren’t so bad
Until we start to miss them
So I’ll steal my luck from the stars
They know where on earth you are
Maybe they’ll be mad enough
To burn out my heart
Wouldn’t that be nice?
You’re making plans for your wedding day
She wants to dance to our old song
So before you go and tie the knot
Tell me, will you sing along?
She is calm where I am crazy
And easy when I’m hard
You’ve never been much of a patient man
But I knew that from that start
So I’ll light a set of candles
And burn you from my system
Our memories aren’t so bad
Until we start to miss them
So I’ll steal my luck from the stars
They know where on earth you are
Maybe they’ll be mad enough
To burn out my heart
Wouldn’t that be nice?
To have your past die
Wouldn’t that be nice?
To know I’m gone for good this time.
Well you’re making plans for your wedding day
Before you tie the knot I’d like to say
I’ll be okay
Think by now I’d know myself better
To know that summer isn’t made
For people like me
‘Cause I forget important things
Like how a heart bleeds and
The after taste of love
So what’s your secret?
How do you move on
Faster than I can catch you?
What’s your secret?
How do you fall in love
With so many faces
That are not mine?
Think by now I’d know this game
A plan for when things change
Like the rules, they always change
‘Cause you like to trip me up
Step into my world then give everything
I gave you to the dogs
So what’s your secret?
How do you move on
Faster than I can catch you?
What’s your secret?
How do you fall in love
With so many faces
That are not mine?
So what’s your secret?
How do you forget
All the promises that you broke?
What’s your secret?
How do I catch a man
Without a heart or soul?
Can you love at all?
And I know you say you’re happy
That you’ve finally got it right
She’s got to be the rebound
Or what you’re saying must be a lie
And I know you say you’re happy
But know for me to believe
That means in the thick of what we had
You didn’t give a damn about me
So what’s your secret?
How do you move on
Faster than I can catch you?
What’s your secret?
How do you fall in love
With so many faces
That are not mine?
So what’s your secret?
How do you forget
All the promises that you broke?
What’s your secret?
How do I catch a man
Without a heart or soul?
Can you love at all?
Can you love at all?
I know you say you’re happy
But can you love at all?
Is it just a game, a lie, a story you created
Can you love at all?
After me…
Can you love at all?
Your face still sends a fire
burning down my spine
And I know now the only thing
that’ll fix me is time
And her head fits there
On the spot against your shoulder
Maybe love will be easier
As soon as I get older
Oh your memory
Stops the words in my throat
I choke on our song
Wonder when I’ll let go
Sometimes I want to call
‘cause I’ve forgotten your voice
But then I remind myself
I’m no longer your first choice
And I know breakups are as common
as falling in love
And even though you were the worst of all
I still loved you the most
If you’d give me just a minute
there’s something thing I’d like to ask
and then I’ll go, back down, retire
I’ll be your past
Just tell me about your first kiss
and the night you drove her home
And please, please, please,
what’s your new favorite song?
Perhaps the day will come
when thunder doesn’t make me
think of you.
After all,
I love storms
longer, more, better
than I ever loved you.
I’ll attempt to find your heart
Maybe if I draw a map,
that’d be a good start?
Never been good with directions
I’m always getting lost,
maybe that explains you?
Like a dark house without a candle,
a forest filled with wolves at my ankles,
exactly how do I describe someone like you?
Maybe drifting without an anchor,
handcuffed to a lion with a temper,
Yes, eating me alive sounds like something you would do.
Mother says everyone has something
good inside and I’m not doubting,
but mother dear, you’ve never met this one.
Not saying you’re some demon spawn,
but then again, all I’ve ever been is wrong
when it comes to figuring you out.
You’ve filled my head full of doubt
I’m stuck in a world, can’t get out
Somehow you’ve made me feel not good enough.
Well you have a heart, this I know
even if it’s not your own,
after all, didn’t you run away with mine?
I’d like it back now.
It was a Tuesday night
In the middle of the month
When my phone rang
You were calling me up
To say, “Remember when you said you’d owe me a date?”
You’d come to collect
And on such short notice
My head wanted to say no
But my heart said, “Go for it.
What have you got to lose anyway?”
So I put up my hair
And pulled on a dress
Slipped on high heels
Put a hand to my chest
Said, “Breathe. This doesn’t mean anything to him.”
And when you saw me you said,
“My oh my, you’re so damn fine
What are my chances of seeing you after tonight?
If I’ve got a lucky star I’ll give up
To see you one more time
Let’s go, beautiful girl
Start our adventure
Maybe I could get you to fall
In love with me”
I said, “We’ll see.”
It was Saturday morning
The sky was gray
You stopped by my house
Just to say again
“I had fun on Tuesday night dancing with you.”
You asked about my plans
Wanted to know if I’d be busy
Or if I could sneak away
Come to the city
“I want to see how the world looks through your eyes.”
And I’ve lost track since that day
Of how many dates you got away with
Pretty sure you gave up more than one star
But every time I mention it, you say
“It’s worth being where you are.”
Well it’s a Sunday night
At the start of the month
You’re talking on my couch
Keeping me up
You say, “I’d like to cancel tomorrow’s date.”
So I take down my hair
Pull on my jeans
Slip off my high heels
Remind myself to breathe
As you get down on one knee and say, “Will you marry me?”
And you say the things you wanted to say since our first date,
“My oh my, you’re so damn fine
What are my chances of making you mine?
I’d give up everything I have
To see you one more time
Let’s go, love of my life
Start our adventure
Maybe you could fall
In love with me”
I say, “Yes, I do, I love you…”
Maybe I should’ve known when I started changing in a way I wasn’t okay with. Maybe I should’ve known when you pushed until I caved. Maybe I should’ve known when I lied, when I pretended, when I waited for you to be the hero… and all the while you were waiting for someone else to be the hero, the good guy, the knight in shining armor. Maybe I should’ve known when you didn’t like my shoes because they all made me taller than you.
Maybe, when you told me not to take it too seriously, I should’ve listened.
Your memory still crawls up the back of my neck
Like fire, like lightning, like a feeling I can’t shake
Either she’s the rebound or what you said were lies
How you loved me, wanted me, wanted a daughter that looked like me
Looking back now, I can see all the signs
The red warning flags I’d been blind to before
Either she’s the rebound or you didn’t give a damn about me
Alright, let’s face the truth,
You didn’t give a damn about me.
Movie, food, voodoo ritual [what?]. You know.
They tell me that your blue skies are getting bluer
When you said you’d move on sooner or later
I didn’t think it’d be so sooner
I’ve sat in this ivory room filled with all of your things
Nicer than you striking a match and setting fire
To all your memories of me
That fire’s getting brighter
It’s climbing higher
Don’t you remember when I said I am a fighter?
The rain won’t fall
These tears won’t wash me away
There’s no flood tonight
I’ve found my solid ground to stand upon
When you come back around
I won’t be here to be found
I’m out living a life worth living now